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“Closing out Play”

25 January 2010 132 Comments

“Closing out Play” is, hands down, the best tip from the Dr.Sears series of books.  For parents, it’s a matter of remembering to use this easy and simple technique. For toddlers, it provides a smooth transition from play to another activity. “Closing out Play” in my experience, eliminates distress for parents and toddler when “it’s time to go”.

Here’s the deal (excerpt from The Baby Book):

Toddlers become so engrossed in their play that they protest when asked to stop playing and depart. Instead of just picking up your baby when it’s time to eat, to get ready for bed, or to leave someone’s home, here’s a departure tip we have used successfully with each of our children: A few minutes before it’s time to go, tell him it’s time to go (or eat or sleep) and begin to help baby sign off by waving bye-bye to each toy. “Bye-bye truck, bye-bye blocks…” These departure gestures help baby properly close out this play activity as if finishing a chapter in a book. This also helps parents realize that toddlers are little persons with strong wills who need creative discipline.

My husband and I first used this approach when we were visiting a botanical garden that had a childrens sandbox. Our son, who was about 15 months, loved it!  He loved the sand, the tools, and watching the other children filling buckets. When it was time to go, we were apprehensive to take him away from something he was so immersed in. I then remembered the Closing out Play tip and thought what better time to try it out. So my husband and I started consciously waving: “Bye-bye sand box, bye-bye shovel, bye-bye bucket, bye-bye baby…” and sure enough, he started to wave bye-bye and came to hold our hands and we walked away. It worked!

After a few minutes walking the path towards the car, we heard another toddler crying and screaming as his parents took him away. It took the toddler a good ten minutes to settle down - that’s when I knew I had to help share this approach for the sake of parents and toddlers alike.

Our son is almost two now and if we don’t remember to Close out Play, he initiates it on his own by saying bye-bye to the items in that room he was engaged with. It’s very endearing, not to mention, stress-free!

Give it a try and let me know how it works for you (and spread the word)!

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